THE LOSS OF A FAMILY MEMBER

Jan and I lost a wonderful family member this past Saturday. Even though we knew it was coming, we are sad. She was 81, and had been diagnosed with terminal cancer several months ago. After Easter we traveled to Cincinnati and spent a few days with her while she was still alert and active. (The picture above is from that visit.)

Pat was special to us for a variety of reasons. She and Jan’s dad were married after Jan’s mom passed away over 34 years ago. She was a great partner for my father-in-law all those years, enriching his life until the end. As we would expect, at the age of 94 he is deeply wounded and filled with grief.

When my father-in-law married Pat our family immediately expanded. Pat had two daughters and a son; Jan’s dad had two sons and a daughter. Although Jan and her two brothers were gone, Pat’s two daughters (one still in high school) lived with them. Jan and I, her brothers, and Pat’s children and spouses all became family.

Jan and I never felt or thought of Pat as a step-mother; and I’m confident she never thought of Jan or her brothers as step-children. Nor did Jan’s dad ever consider Pat’s girls or son step-children. Having lived with them for a few years, Jan’s dad especially loved her girls and they loved him.

Pat took great interest in our two children and grandchildren as well as Jan’s nephews and niece. She was a real grandmother to our children and great-grandmother to our grandsons. Both our daughter and son are disappointed they cannot travel to Cincinnati to celebrate her life and mourn her loss with the rest of the family. I too am sorry I am not able to join them.

It was always great to visit Pat and Jan’s dad because of her gift and love of hospitality. She wanted everything to be perfect for us. Some of my favorite memories are our visits with them in Tucson during several winters. When in Cincinnati I sometimes felt guilty going out to lunch with friends or going to Skyline Chili because she always loved feeding us.

Pat Kissell was a woman who loved her family and friends and was deeply loved by them. The past few months have been difficult for many of us as we supported and encouraged her and each other through her final journey. As I have said to so many through the years who have lost loved ones, we will never get over our loss.

As I write this tribute the number one movie in our nation is Wonder Women. As a member of her extended family, I join with the rest of the family in thanking God for and grieving the passing of our Wonder Woman: Pat Kissell.

Please join me in praying for Pat’s family, for my wife Jan as she travels, and for Pat’s husband/Jan’s dad Bill.

 

 

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