Tag Archives: Pride

PRIDE – GOOD, BAD, OR UGLY?

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In both the Old and New Testament the Bible warns about the danger of pride. The book of Proverbs has much to say about pride, and the best known verse is probably Proverbs 16:18 that declares “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” In Proverbs 8:13 wisdom personified lets us know “I hate pride and arrogance.”

A lesser known Old Testament verse that has always grabbed my attention is Obadiah 3a where God tells Edom, “The pride of your heart has deceived you.” When I read that I cannot help but think that Edom was not the last to be deceived by a prideful heart.

There are not as many references to pride in the New Testament, but both James 4:6  and I Peter 5:5 quote Proverbs 3:34, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” I John 2:16 notes the pride of life, along with the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes, “comes not from the Father but from the world.”

It’s obvious that there is a kind of pride that is bad; and not just bad, but sinful. Historically Christianity has put pride first in the list of “the seven deadly sins.”

There is a kind of pride that is bad, but most of us recognize that there is also a good kind of pride. In Romans 11:13 the Apostle Paul writes “I take pride in my ministry.” And in II Corinthians 5:12 he tells his readers he is giving them “an opportunity to take pride in us.” Two chapters later in 7:4 he affirms them with “I take great pride in you.” In Galatians 6:4 Paul instructs, “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.”

Pride is not always self-centered and boastful. One writer observes, “In a good sense it means having a feeling of self-respect. People can be satisfied with their achievements. They can be proud of something good that they have done.”

There is also a good pride we have in others. I take Proverbs 27:2 seriously: “Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.” I’m 68 years old and still appreciate it when someone tells me “I’m proud of you.” And is there any parent or grandparent reading this who has not taken pride in their child or grandchild? Tell them you are proud of them, but don’t overdo it!

In thinking about this subject I was impressed by an article in Psychology Today by Leon F. Seltzer entitled “8 Crucial Differences between Healthy and Unhealthy Pride.” Here are a few selected paraphrased nuggets that made sense to me:

Healthy pride is about self-confidence and represents a positive notion of self-worth.

Healthy pride is not about bragging and boasting.

Healthy pride has nothing to do with comparing oneself to others.

Those with healthy pride motivate and inspire others.

Healthy pride isn’t egocentric. And that’s why those with such pride can take pride not just in their own accomplishments, but in those of others as well.

So there is a bad kind of pride and a good kind of pride – but I also want to suggest there is an ugly kind of pride that goes beyond bad pride. Ugly pride not only brags and boasts about oneself, it also demeans and devalues others. Ugly pride displays an air of condescending superiority towards others.

In his “Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector” in Luke 18:9-14 Jesus painted a picture of ugly pride. Luke’s introduction sets the stage by noting Jesus’ audience: “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable.” You may want to read or reread Jesus’ powerful story.

I conclude by encouraging you to have good pride, guard against bad pride, and make every effort to never engage in ugly pride.

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MORE OF THIS AND LESS OF THAT

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Since this past March and through today I have been reading and thinking a lot about a couple of subjects that are antithetical. In March I got and read a little book that expanded my understanding of one of the subjects. On Monday I read a challenging article online about the same subject (https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/june-web-only/what-psychology-offers-christians-amid-political-polarizati.html); and today I read another one online (https://www.challies.com/reading-classics-together/10-sure-marks-of-humility/). Not only have I been reading about these things, this evening I began working on my assigned subject for preaching in a couple of weeks and the passage includes teaching about the two opposites.

The antithetical qualities I’ve been thinking and reading about are humility and pride. It’s entirely possible that I’m giving attention to these matters because at the age of 68 I am still working on cultivating the one and eliminating the other.

Writer Tim Challies begins his article “Traits of a Humble Person” with the question, “Is there any trait more odious than pride or more precious than humility?” Challies is looking for a “no” answer, but I would say “yes” to both parts of the question; not, however, to minimize the odor of pride or the value of humility.

As the title of this post suggests, I’m looking and hoping for more humility and less pride not only in myself, but in all of us. Part of the challenge of making progress in cultivating humility and eliminating pride in our lives is coming to a clear understanding of what these words actually mean.

In a lot of what I have been reading about humility, often writers suggest what it is not rather than saying what it is. For example, in his excellent book Humilitas John Dickson says “Humility does not mean humiliation,” and then adds “Nor does it mean being a doormat for others” (p.22).

I agree with Dickson and question statements that say “a humble person thinks little of himself” or “a humble person thinks better of others than of himself.” Still another writer counters “Humility is NOT low self-image; it starts with a healthy view of self.” I think C.S. Lewis gave the best definition when he wrote, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

What are we to say about pride? I’m thinking pride is the opposite of humility and is often accompanied by selfishness. Borrowing from the Apostle Paul’s warning in Romans 12:3 we get a sense of pride, “Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves” (NLT).

I can’t give precise definitions of pride and humility, but I want to borrow from what Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said in 1964 about hard-core pornography. In one of the best-known phrases in the history of the Supreme Court he said, “I know it when I see it.”

I usually know both pride and humility when I see them. Sometimes, however, I’m not sure I see pride in myself. What I do know is that I need more humility and less pride. And maybe you do as well?

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AN OLD CLICHÉ?

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I was surprised to read a news story this morning in which a well-known Bible verse was called an “old cliché.” Neither the story nor the person who said it are important, but the designation got my attention.

The reference was to Proverbs 16:19, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall,” and was shortened to “pride comes before the fall.” The point of the verse was not changed, but already being a little irritated it was called an old cliché, I was even more irritated it was abbreviated.

I had an idea what a cliché is, but went ahead and looked up the definition to find it is “a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought.” Reading that description confirmed my irritation. I’m uneasy calling any verse in the Bible an opinion, overused, or lacking original thought.

To be fair, I’m not sure the person who cited the verse knew he was quoting the Bible. Whether he knew it was from the Bible or not, although the verse is not overused, it is obviously often used. That’s why he cited it and called it a cliché!

I certainly don’t believe what the Bible says is opinion, but there is much opinion about what it means. That’s why we study it, talk about it, and think about it. The fact that not all Christians agree on the meaning of what the Bible says does not mean that it is opinion. The Christian’s position on the Bible is that it is the Word of God and the challenge is to understand it and put it into practice.

Nor do I believe the Bible is overused. Some passages are cited more often than others, but that does not mean they are overused. If anything, for many of us the Bible is underused in our lives.

But does the Bible betray a lack of original thought? Yes and no. Because it is old and enduring, in one sense it does lack original thought. But to most people reading the Bible today it does not lack original thought. It is rather in many ways revolutionary with regard to our thinking and living. And the more we read, understand, and apply it to our lives the more revolutionary it is.

The Bible is often drawn upon without noting it as one’s source, and I’m always pleased to hear or read that it is being cited in public discussion. However, I wish the person quoting even a truncated version of Proverbs 16:19 would have acknowledged it was from the Bible rather than an old cliché.

We could all benefit from more citations of the Bible in our discussions, and especially from the wisdom of the book of Proverbs.

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PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

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I know Pride and Prejudice is the title of Jane Austen’s 1813 romance novel, but that’s not what I’m thinking about as I write this post. What I have in mind is some people’s attitude about where they live in relation to where others live.

It first happened to me when I accepted the call to a small church in the Philadelphia area in 1975. A man I looked up to threw a wet blanket on my excitement when he asked me, “Why would you go there?” Then he added, “You could have gotten a good church here in Ohio, Kentucky, or Indiana.” I loved growing up in and going to school in the Cincinnati area, but Jan and I also loved our 10 years in Philadelphia.

Our next move was in 1984 to small but growing community in Southern California and I took some hits from a few Midwesterners about going to the land of hippies and marijuana. That was bad enough, but once we settled in and started the church we moved to plant I often heard snide remarks about Moreno Valley from people who lived in Orange County and other more attractive places in the area. Jan and I thoroughly enjoyed and loved our 32 years in Moreno Valley.

Late last year we relocated to Amarillo, Texas, to be near our grandsons and I was surprised by the negative comments we received from a few in Southern California about the place to which we were moving. You might think I would be used to it, but I was shocked last week when we were in Dallas for a conference to have three different people respond negatively when they learned we were from Amarillo. For the record, Jan and I are overjoyed to be living in Amarillo, being a part of the community, fellowshipping with our new church, and being fully engaged with our grandsons.

I understand and applaud an appropriate pride in terms of where a person lives. I’ve had that in every place I have lived during my 66 years. What I don’t understand is the prejudice some have about the places where others live. It seems to me we can be positive about and pleased with our community without looking down on the communities of others.

I think the prophet Jeremiah’s advice to the Israelites who were taken captive to Babylon is good advice for Christians today regardless of where they live: 4 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29:4-7).

Have pride in where you live and don’t be prejudiced against other places. And be sure to make the most of where you live.

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I WAS WRONG

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i’m sure there are many reasons why, but a lot of us have a hard time saying “I was wrong.” As I have grown older, I have noted that it has become easier for me to acknowledge my mistakes. Perhaps I am giving myself too much credit, but I think a readiness to admit when we are or were wrong is a sign of maturity.

In the words of Mark Galli, one of the reasons we find it hard to say “I was wrong” is because “we remain addicted to the drug of self-justification.” We justify ourselves because the person we wronged was also wrong. (Are you familiar with the saying “two wrongs don’t make a right?”)

Or we justify ourselves because of other things that were going on in our lives at the time. We had too much to do, or were short on time, or we didn’t feel well, or had a bad day, or any number of reasons we might give to others and ourselves. Our personal situation may elicit some sympathy and understanding, but it doesn’t make doing something wrong right.

Sometimes we won’t say we were wrong because of pride–we are simply too proud and too stubborn to admit we made a mistake. It often does require humility, but that can be very good for us.

For Christians, this matter of acknowledging we were wrong is the first step of repentance. Repentance is not a popular or particularly admired word in most circles today, but it is an important word in the Bible. We might remind ourselves that Jesus launched his public ministry with a call to “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 4:17).

To admit we were wrong is to take responsibility. We admit it to ourselves, we acknowledge it to the person or persons we wronged, and we confess it to God. But acknowledging we were wrong is just the first step.

Next, repentance involves being sorry we were wrong—feeling remorse and regret over what we did or said. It is not being sorry we were caught or found out, but being convicted or conscience stricken by it. Sometimes it includes doing what we can to make things right.

Finally, repentance leads to a resolve to do better in the future. That means we make a commitment to be more aware of our weaknesses and tendencies so that we strive not to do what we did again. But it’s even more than that. Theologian J.I. Packer presses the point when he notes repentance “is an actual abandonment of what has been wrong in order to replace it by what is right.”

When was the last time you did something wrong? When was the last time you admitted you were wrong? And when was the last time you repented? I’m hoping the frequency of needing to say those three magic words “I was wrong” lessens in my life, but I’m learning the importance and value of saying them.

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SHOULD WE BOAST? IT ALL DEPENDS

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Should we boast? My inclination is to say “no.” There are numerous warnings against pride and calls for humility for the people of God in the Bible. Pride is generally ugly and boasting is usually irritating.

That’s why a lot of people, if they don’t already know it, will be surprised to learn that the Bible actually tells us to boast.

In I Corinthians 1:31 the Apostle Paul paraphrases Jeremiah 9:24, “Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord’.” Before this quotation Paul reminds his readers that when they became Christians they were not in the upper class. In the second part of verse 26 he writes, “Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.” But in spite of that, and because they had no reason to boast, God chose them. But now that they are in Christ, if they are going to boast, they should boast in the Lord.

To get a better grasp of what is being said, I think it is helpful to review the context and fuller statement of Jeremiah from which Paul borrows. Jeremiah 9:23 tells us the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches.” It reminds me of what Paul told the Corinthians they were lacking when they became Christians.

But then in Jeremiah 9:24 Jeremiah continues, “but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight.” That sounds like the reasoning Paul gave for God choosing the Corinthians.

So we know what we aren’t to boast about (and not everything that we are not to boast about is listed in Jeremiah 9:23), and what we are to boast about: God, who He is, and that we know him. But I don’t think that means we are to be smug about it, but that our boasting is to be humble and not self-serving.

As Christians we do know God, but we don’t know or understand everything about him. To act and talk like we do is not the kind of boasting the Bible calls for.

Last week I was working on a Bible study I am teaching and in my preparation came across a quote by Frederick Dale Bruner I had underlined when I first read the book in 2013. In the book THE HOLY SPIRIT: Shy Member of the Trinity Bruner notes there is an attitude that “is confident that, in at least some divine matters, it has the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Hence, it is prepared to cast into the outer darkness all who do not agree with it” (p. 67). I’m confident that is not what God, Jeremiah, or Paul meant when suggesting we boast in the Lord.

Have you ever been confident that you had the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about God? I have, and I was wrong.

Should we boast? Yes; but if we boast we should do so with and in a spirit of humility.

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AMBITION: GOOD OR BAD?

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Is ambition a good or bad thing? My response is something of a cop out: I don’t know; it all depends. How would you answer? Like many words, ambition can be used in a variety of ways. Some of the ways it is used make it a bad thing. On the other hand, some of the ways it is used make it a good thing.

The definitions given for ambition suggest both the good and bad. For example, one online definition describes ambition as “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.” Nothing wrong with that. But the next description of the word is “an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power.” Not so appealing.

Another entry says ambition is “a particular goal or aim, something that a person hopes to do or achieve.” Again, nothing wrong with that. But then comes the description “a desire to be successful, powerful, or famous.” Again, two of the three words are not as positive.

William Barclay discusses the Greek work in his book New Testament Words with the title “The Wrong Kind of Ambition.” He reports that in the beginning it was a perfectly respectable word meaning “labor for wages.” But with the passing of time the meaning of the word degenerated to describe something a person did “simply and solely for his [sic] own honor and glory and for his [sic] own profit.” The word is used seven times in the New Testament and always has a negative implication.

The best known and clearest usage of the word in the Bible is in the Apostle Paul’s instruction to Christians in Philippians 2:3a, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit” (NIV). I think the NIV’s addition of the adjective selfish to ambition captures the degeneration of the word Barclay traces. The NLT renders the warning, “Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others.” And in The Message Eugene Peterson has Paul caution, “Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top.”

In the next chapter in the letter Paul doesn’t use the actual word, but I think he is writing about his ambition and what I would call good ambition. He writes in Philippians 3:12-14, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

In his review of a book of essays about ambition James A.K. Smith makes a couple of observations that ring true and are descriptive of Paul’s ambition. One is that “the opposite of ambition is not humility; it is sloth, passivity, timidity, and complacency.” And he is right to note the ambitious are not always prideful and arrogant. His second observation is that “it is the telos [goal] of ambition that distinguishes good from bad, separating faithful aspiration from self-serving aggrandizement.”

At the age of 66 I am not as ambitious as I was in years gone by, but I haven’t lost all my ambition. I pray my ambitions are not self-serving or arrogant. I hope they are more in line with the Apostle Paul’s—to become more and more the person God has called me to be as a follower of Jesus.

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IT’S A NEW YEAR – SO WHAT?

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With the ending of the year this week a lot of us are thinking about changes we would like to make in the coming year. Some will make resolutions, of course, while others will be less specific in considering how they would like to do better. It is true, in a sense, that when we move from December 31 to January 1 this week it will be just another Saturday to Sunday, but it also will mark the beginning of a New Year. I am among those who like to give consideration to at least a few positive changes I would like to make as we turn the calendar from one year to another.

During October, November, and December Jan and I have already made one gigantic change in selling our house, moving to Texas, and making arrangements to buy a new one. I am also using the occasion, as I generally have in the past, to specify a few challenges for myself. A couple have to do with my health, of which I will not bore you, and one is a general spiritual challenge.

I’ve been thinking a lot the last couple of weeks about the Apostle Paul’s challenge in Ephesians 4:1, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” I don’t think he is talking about a specific “calling” to be a pastor or missionary or whatever, but the general calling to be a Christian—a disciple of Jesus. In other words, the urging to live a life worthy of the calling you have received is for all of us who have said yes to the Lord. But what does it mean “to live a life worthy of the calling” we have received? It certainly can’t mean that having been accepted, forgiven, and saved by grace we are now supposed to measure up by becoming worthy in ourselves.

I looked at a variety of other translations and got some help from Eugene Peterson’s The Message. He paraphrases, “I want you to get out there and walk on the road God called you to travel.” The way I am taking Paul’s challenge for myself is to continually give myself to living as a Christian and making progress in it. And the key for me is the phrase “making progress.” None of us would have to look too far in the New Testament, or think very much about living the Christian life,  to come up with a couple of specifics we could focus on with the beginning of another year.

What I’ve become more convicted of the past few weeks is the Bible’s general call for and Jesus’ specific teaching about humility. Two teachings from Jesus that have my attention are Luke 14:11, “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted,” and Luke 18:9, “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable.” Clear instruction from Paul that challenges me is in the middle of Romans 12:3, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.” I had already been thinking about this matter, and then read in a book last night that living the Christian life is not compatible with self-aggrandizement. I looked the word up and self-aggrandizement is “the practice of enhancing or exaggerating one’s own importance, power, reputation, status, etc.” To me this sounds like what both the Bible in general and Jesus in specific tells us not to do.

I have no idea what specific area or areas you may want to make progress in this coming year, but for me it is chipping away at pride and cultivating humility. I’m using this post as a first step. If you would like to join me I encourage you to read the passages I have cited in their context, especially the two parables of Jesus in Luke 14 and 18. It’s a New Year – so what? It’s an opportunity for us to give ourselves to making some progress in living the Christian life. It’s up to you whether or not you do.

Feel free to leave a reply below or email me at bobmmink@gmail.com; also consider sharing this post on Facebook.

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