All of us, of course, know some complainers. Every morning when I look into the mirror I see a complainer. And if you are honest with yourself, you probably also see someone who complains from time to time when you look into the mirror.

What prompted my thinking about this matter of complaining was an episode of Gunsmoke I recently watched on TV.  You may or may not know the characters of this old TV series that those of us who are older watched as children, but I chuckled when Doc observed that “Chester is never happy unless he has something to complain about.” It was an overstatement for sure, but most of us know people who do seem to be happy only when they have something to complain about.

To complain is to “express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something” and a complainer is “a person given to excessive complaints and crying and whining.” Another word often used for complain is to grumble. One definition of to grumble is “to complain about something in a bad-tempered way.”

In the Old Testament books of Exodus and Numbers the writer repeatedly tells of the Children of Israel’s grumbling. They grumbled against Moses (Exodus 15:24 and 17:3), against Moses and Aaron (Exodus 16:2 and Numbers14:2), and against God (Exodus 16:7 and Numbers 14:27). Clearly their grumbling prevented them from realizing how blessed they were and from expressing gratitude.

In the New Testament the Apostle Paul instructs and challenges the Christians in Philippi, “Do everything without grumbling” (Philippians 2:14). The New Living Translation substitutes arguing for grumbling. One observer notes about the verse, “The immediate context is work within the local church and the body of believers. However, the intent is clearly meant to include all of a Christian’s life.”

I don’t think complaining and grumbling is always out of place or inappropriate, but it certainly can be. You can request that your order in a restaurant be corrected without really complaining. But when grumbling is excessive it not only robs us of enjoyment and pleasure, it also robs others who are with us.

One writer I read suggests, “It does no one any good to be a complainer.” The key word in this suggestion is the word complainer; I think we all would agree that there are clearly times when a complaint does do some good – especially if it is done in an appropriate way. I confess, my problem is that there are times when I overdo it when I complain.

The unknown writer I just quoted also makes three other statements about complaining that are worth hearing and considering: “Constant complaining wears thin quickly. If you have an ax to grind, don’t bore others with it. It is far better to go to the source of your problem and seek to resolve things personally.”

I think Doc was wrong when he said, “Chester is never happy unless he has something to complain about.” As a matter of fact, I think he was complaining about Chester. What do you think?

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I’m fairly certain all of us at one time or another have said something we soon realized we shouldn’t have said. We wish we could take it back, but it can’t be undone. We can apologize and say we didn’t mean it, and that may help, but similar to what card players often say: “a card laid is a card played.”

Soon after we say something we regret someone who heard it often asks, “What in the world were you thinking?” And the most common answer is, “That’s the problem – I wasn’t thinking.”

Last week I read two statements that immediately prompted me to ask, “What was this person thinking?” And I concluded, “They could not have been thinking.”

The first thing that caused me to ask the question was a summary of a Missouri pastor’s suggestion in his sermon last week. His suggestion was trending on social media and made the national news as well. He suggested that wives who “let themselves go is the reason husbands stray sexually.” My first thought was what in the world was this man thinking? My conclusion: he could not have been thinking!

As a husband and pastor I was stunned and disappointed to read this pastor’s inappropriate observation. I’m not interested in giving an opinion on why men stray, but I think it is far more complicated than the pastor’s shallow thought.

The second thing that caused me to ask the question was a piece we received in the mail from a church. There was no invitation to the church, but six passages from the Bible that all spoke about judgement. The front of the piece was in red, orange, and yellow with one verse, “The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.” –Psalm 9:17

Having just read about the mailer we received from a church, I think you too are probably asking the question, “What in the world were the leaders of this church thinking?” Perhaps they were thinking they could scare some people to come to church, but I don’t think it is going to create much interest or bring many people. As a pastor I was surprised and disappointed by the mailer.

The question “what were you thinking?” usually implies you weren’t thinking. In reflecting on all of this I’ve realized that there are times when we are more likely to say something without thinking: when we’re angry, when we’re trying to be funny, when we want to impress someone, when we’re tired, or when we are frustrated. The challenge, of course, is to think about what we say all the time, but especially during those times when we may not be thinking. Perhaps we all should echo David’s prayer, “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3).

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