Tag Archives: Moving

A YEAR LATER

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This week marks one year since I loaded up my car, played golf the last time with three of my friends I had been playing with for years, and headed to Amarillo to join my wife who had left a week earlier. I had shed tears earlier in the morning when I left my son, but I was able to hold them off when I said good-by to my golfing partners until I got to the car and left the course.

My drive from Southern California to the Texas Panhandle was the longest and loneliest of my life. I checked into a Holiday Inn after 10 hours of driving, but it took a long time to finally go to sleep. The six hour drive the next day was a little easier, but my emotions were still up and down. The warm welcome from Jan, my daughter, our two grandsons, their dog, and our dog was comforting.

A year later I still miss a lot about Southern California. I miss our house and neighborhood of 32 years, I miss our many friends (especially those from Discovery Christian Church), I miss guest preaching (especially at New Day Christian Church and Westwood Hills Christian Church), I miss teaching at Hope International University and the wonderful people there, I miss the great variety of golf courses, and I miss In-N-Out Burger.

But we have adjusted and adapted to our new location and Amarillo is now our home. While I have made quite a few friends and enjoy our new house, we have not yet connected with people in our neighborhood. I regularly play golf with several guys—and year round even though it is often windy and is cold in the winter. I thoroughly enjoy my two part time jobs as the Bible teacher at Amarillo High School (dual credit with Amarillo College) and the Pastor to Senior Adults at Washington Avenue Christian Church. Jan and I both love our new church—the people and the staff. Not that there were not similar people in our previous places and churches, but we have met some wonderfully gracious and generous people in our new church and city.

The best and most fulfilling thing about our move last year is the opportunity and privilege to be near our daughter and fully engaged with our two grandsons. We enjoyed Christmas last year and both boys’ birthdays this year. On school days Jan picks up our three year from preschool and I pick up our second grader. A special bonus for me this past summer was being an assistant coach for our second grader’s baseball team.

Last year, the week before I left, my blog post was entitled A Bright Sadness. In that post I wrote “at this point I am hurting more thinking about what I am losing than what I am about to gain. Right now my bright sadness is sadder than it is bright. Soon, however, the brightness will outshine the sadness.” (You can read that post here https://bobmmink.com/2016/12/05/a-bright-sadness/)

One year later I am confident our move was the right decision. The brightness today does outshine the sadness of when we left California a year ago.

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THAT’S WHY WE’RE HERE

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Several times since my wife and I moved to Texas something has happened that prompted one of us to say “That’s why we’re here.” We relocated to help our daughter, who has a full time job, with our two grandsons–ages 7 and 3. We talked and thought about moving for over a year, and finally pulled the trigger this past December. The past six months have proven to be even better than we imagined as we have become a vital part of the daily lives of our daughter and grandsons.

Their dog became ill and needed to be taken to the vet. Jan volunteered and said “that’s why we’re here.” Our younger grandson got strep throat and I stayed home with him one day. I told my daughter “that’s why we’re here.” Jan does so much around our daughter’s house that I have occasionally complained only to be reminded “that’s why we’re here.” It was my privilege to help coach our older grandson’s little league baseball team. One time the coach told me I didn’t have to carry the equipment, but I told him “that’s why we’re here.” I won’t bore you with more examples–I think you get the point.

As important as being fully engaged as grandparents is, there is more. On multiple occasions our new pastor has suggested to us that God had a reason for bringing us to our new church. We’re not yet totally sure what that is, but I have already preached on two weekends and we are talking about other ways I can serve. Not only are we plugging into our new church, I have had a variety of opportunities in other venues to preach, teach, and serve. I am especially excited to fill the position of teaching the Bible class at Amarillo High School beginning this fall.

Through the years I have often been asked by people who were discouraged or depressed or seriously ill, “Why am I still here?” Occasionally I have offered a reason or two, but I think it is better when I ask what they think the reason is. It is not always obvious, but there are reasons why all of us are where we are. The challenge, of course, is to realize there are reasons, explore what they may be, and then fulfill them.

The Texas Panhandle is the fourth place Jan and I have lived in the 43 years we have been married. There was a reason we lived on the west side of Cincinnati and I was youth pastor at Bridgetown Church of Christ for almost five years. There was reason we moved to the suburbs of Philadelphia and I was pastor of Delaware Valley Church of Christ for almost 10 years. There was a reason we moved to Moreno Valley, California, and I was the founding pastor of Discovery Christian Church where we stayed for 30 years.

As hard as it was to leave Southern California, we have not regretted our move to Texas. There is a reason we are here and we know at least in part what that reason is. And we look forward to realizing other reasons why we’re here.

Why are you where you are?

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ARE WE THERE YET?

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Although the title question of this post is usually asked when traveling somewhere by car, it can also be asked in a variety of situations and circumstances. In early December I wrote about Jan’s and my move from Southern California to the Texas Panhandle under the title “A Bright Sadness.” She left a couple of weeks ahead of me and as I packed my car to drive from Moreno Valley to Texas I concluded my thoughts: “Right now my bright sadness is sadder than it is bright. Soon, however, the brightness will outshine the sadness.” After almost three months I’m asking myself, “Are we there yet?” The short answer is “Not yet, but we’re making progress.”

I have been overwhelmed by the welcome and warmth of so many of the people we have met. It seems like everyone we meet is cordial and interested in us. I’ve never been addressed as “honey” so often in my life. One lady two weeks ago actually called me “sugar.” I think the last person who called me that was my mom many years ago. When we walk the dogs we almost always see people we greet by name and who greet us by name. I joined Gold’s Gym and a racquetball league and the guys have all been friendly. I have yet to win a game, but after each match the guy who beat me has given me a free lesson!

I’ve played golf a few times and joined up with others a couple of times, but have not yet found any regulars with whom I can play. I hope to connect with a couple of the guys I play racquetball with and return the favor in golf they have shown me in racquetball. As so many told me ahead of time, the real drawback for golf here is the wind. I did join single players on two occasions and exchanged contact info with them. The one sent me an email saying I was “a hoot to play with.” The other, who is 79, told me to call him if I was willing to play with someone that old. I am and I will.

All the churches we have visited have welcomed us with open arms and we have officially become members at one. I am looking forward to the opportunity to preach in a couple of weeks as all the preaching pastors will be gone on a Mexico mission trip. I believe this church is going to be a great place for Jan and me to worship, serve, and fellowship.

I do have a gentleman I would call my best friend in Amarillo. And he truly is a gentleman. We connected over three years ago when Jan and I first started thinking about relocating to Amarillo. Over the course of those three years we stayed in touch and since arriving he has been a great help and friend to me. He is a man of faith, we are about the same age, and so far, he is the only person I have been able to beat in racquetball!

I am still exploring potential opportunities for part time work that will allow me to serve in ministry in some way, but nothing yet has solidified. I am not, however, discouraged.

The brightest aspect of our move, of course, has been the opportunity to live with our daughter and two grandsons and help take care of them.  Jan and I stayed home with the little guy (age 3) sick last Tuesday and I stayed home with the big guy (age 6) sick last Thursday. I have rug burns on both knees and elbows. We move into our own house in a couple of weeks, but we will stay deeply involved and closely connected with them.

We have transferred our cars and put Texas tags on them, but we cannot get Texas driver’s licenses until we have utility bills. We still grieve the passing of our cat, but our dog, Macy, is doing great playing with her new friend Leonard (Audrey’s dog). I am looking forward to a return to Southern California for a visit in late April or May.

I think people ask the question “Are we there yet?” because they have unrealistic expectations with regard to how long it will take to get to where they are going. And those unrealistic expectations result in impatience which makes the trip even more frustrating. It would probably be helpful if we tried to enjoy the trip itself. Jan and I have not fully arrived, but we are making good progress—and we will get there.

(If you have not read the post “A Bright Sadness” you can do so at https://bobmmink.com/2016/12/05/a-bright-sadness/ )

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TRADEOFFS AND CHRISTMAS

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A lot of us will be exchanging gifts this week, but I don’t think any of us considers his or her gift exchanges tradeoffs. To me, a tradeoff is when you give up something in order to gain something. And if it is a real tradeoff, what you give up is something of value. Christmas is about a huge tradeoff that I will return to in a moment.

I’ve been thinking about this matter of tradeoffs since I left Southern California last week to move to the Texas Panhandle. During that two day drive and the first couple of days after I arrived, I was focused on what I was giving up: familiarity, weather, friends, year round golf on many golf courses, a variety of avenues and opportunities to serve, and all that the greater Los Angeles area has to offer. After 32 years I may have drifted into taking it all for granted and I was miserable.

While my emotions, heart, and mind are not fully resolved yet, I am doing much better today. This is the third major move Jan and I have made in the last 47 years. And in the days, weeks, and months ahead I am confident what I will gain in this tradeoff will more than match what I gained in my previous two similar moves. Our daughter said something over the weekend that got my attention. She reminded me that after Christmas this year, unlike the last few, I won’t have to go through the emotional trauma of saying goodbye to my grandsons.

Now back to the huge tradeoff of Christmas. The Apostle Paul clearly lays it out in II Corinthians 8:9, “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.” What a great image of God becoming a human in the birth of Jesus!

As we come to Christmas this week let’s consider the tradeoff Jesus made. He was rich and became poor so that you and I could become rich. Not rich in terms of money and things, but rich in terms of forgiveness and salvation. The baby Jesus grew and became the man Jesus. And the man Jesus fulfilled the purpose of His coming—that through His poverty you and I might become rich. “Joy to the world, the Lord has come!” Merry Christmas.

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A BRIGHT SADNESS

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I am borrowing the title of this post from a chapter in a book I recently finished reading for the second time. As Jan and I carry out our final preparations to move from the Inland Empire of Southern California to the Texas Panhandle my emotions are conflicted and can be described in terms of a bright sadness. I am filled with anticipation and excitement to be near my daughter and two grandsons, but I am also overwhelmed with sadness to leave this place and the people I have come to love the past 32 years.

Jan tells me she is not surprised by my feelings because change has always been hard for me. When we left Cincinnati after one year of marriage and five years of youth ministry at Bridgetown I cried so much leaving the church parking lot I almost wrecked the U-Haul truck. Nine years later when we left the Philadelphia area with 3 year old Audrey and 7 month old Rob to move to California it wasn’t any easier.

Part of me wishes I could say it will be great to get out California, but to do so would be dishonest. I think it is far better to feel some grief when you move than just relief. The 32 years we have lived in Moreno Valley and our current house is the longest either of us has lived in the same place. Going through things, and deciding what to throw away, has been an emotional roller coaster. I have more Ohio State University Buckeyes and Dallas Cowboys shirts than any one person should own!

There is a lot I am going to miss, not the least of which is the weather. Beyond that I am going to miss playing golf all year round and especially the guys I play with. I am going to miss the opportunities I have had to guest preach and those churches. I am going to miss the wonderful privilege of teaching as an adjunct professor at Hope International University: the students, the faculty, the administration, and my boss, Joe Grana, Dean of the College of Biblical Studies. I am going to miss the many friends we have made the last 32 years. Most of all I am going to miss Rob, our 32 year old son.

On the other hand, there is much I am looking forward to–most of all being close to our 6 and 2 year old grandsons. Of course it will be nice to be around their mother, our daughter Audrey, as well; but I am more excited about Bobby and Ryan. Please don’t tell Audrey I said that!

My hope is to find ways to contribute whether as a volunteer or part time employee in ministry and teaching of some kind. I’ll be looking into both hospice and hospital chaplaincy, teaching, and church work. I also plan to continue to write a weekly blog, articles for periodicals, and maybe another Bible study book. (To receive email notification of my blog posts click follow at the top of the page and enter your email address.)

I love the image Bob Russell shared from Dr. Lewis Foster “that he looked at life in terms of chapters. There comes a time to close a chapter and move into a new chapter.” Right now Jan and I are closing one chapter of our lives and getting ready to begin a new chapter. I don’t know what God has in store for us, but I trust Him and am looking forward to it. We’ll have a new home, new neighbors, new friends, new opportunities, and much more. And we’ll make new memories!

As usual for me, at this point I am hurting more thinking about what I am losing than what I am about to gain. I’m dreading the drive to Texas by myself and know I will cry a lot. (Jan is going ahead of me; please pray for both of us as we travel.) Right now my bright sadness is sadder than it is bright. Soon, however, the brightness will outshine the sadness.

Feel free to leave a reply below or send me an email at bobmmink@gmail.com and/or share this post on Facebook and other social media.

Thanks to our daughter for the permission to use the photo of our youngest grandson.