While exiting the freeway recently a driver on the road I was entering ignored the yield sign and almost hit me. I wasn’t happy, but to my credit I did not honk my horn or glare at the other driver. As I moved into my lane behind him it occurred to me that on previous occasions I have done the exact same thing. I had to call myself on what was clearly a double standard. If he should have yielded to me (and he should have), then I also should have yielded at other times when the roles were reversed.
What reminded me of my inconsistency was a line in Gordon Smith’s short new book Teach Us to Pray, “it is so easy to spend our energy frustrated with others and wishing that others would change” (p. 15). His point is that we think about how others need to change, while we give ourselves a pass on the very same things. That’s what is called a double standard; and I confess I’m guilty. (By the way, if you are interested, Smith has an excellent chapter on “The Prayer of Confession” in the book.)
The greatest and most creative teaching about a double standard is given by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 7:3 and 4): “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?” Again, I am guilty.
In the next chapter in his book Smith further convicted me with an unintended paraphrase of Jesus’ words, “We are so easily aware of the shortcomings of others rather than our own faults” (p. 22). Wouldn’t you agree that is pretty much what Jesus said?
For me, the most stinging part of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 7:5 is the designation of the person with one standard for self and another for others a “hypocrite.” I think we can agree that Smith too is describing a hypocrite.
I do not believe either Jesus or Gordon Smith are suggesting we ignore the shortcomings or faults of others. The call is not to judge others while giving ourselves a pass. That’s a double standard and it isn’t appropriate.
Does my confession, Smith’s observations, and Jesus’ teaching say anything to you?
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A good reminder for us all!
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