Tag Archives: Excuses

ON MAKING EXCUSES

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A statement in a commercial I heard last week while watching TV grabbed my attention. The announcer declared GOLF IS FULL OF EXCUSES. Although I am not a fanatic, I do play golf quite a bit and can verify that the game of golf is full of excuses. While some golfers give more excuses than others, I don’t think I’ve ever played with someone who made no excuses.

Golfers of all levels make excuses including such things as the wind, the condition of the course (fairways and/or greens), the speed of play (the group in front – slow play – or the group behind – pushing), the rudeness of playing partners, their physical ailments, their golf ball or clubs, and more.

As I’ve thought about this matter of golfer’s excuses I have been reminded that golf is not the only game that evokes excuses. I know I use them when playing Jeopardy and Scrabble with family.

Making excuses, however, is not limited to competitive games most of us play. We all make excuses from time to time in a variety situations in which we have done or said something or not said or done something. Making such excuses can be a sign that we are underestimating ourselves, lacking in confidence, or blaming others.

Trying to find more about excuses, I typed Making Excuses on Google and came up with a link from 11/04/21 (https://www.developinggoodhabits.com – making excuses). The information is titled 13 Steps to Stop Making Excuses and Take Responsibility S.J. Scott.

If you are interested you can find more at the link above, but I want to give two lists that give a foundation for thinking and exploring more about this matter of making excuses.

Why Do We Make Excuses? Here are eight common reasons why people make excuses throughout their lives.

Reason #1: You’re experiencing fear

Reason #2: You don’t want to fail

Reason #3: You don’t know what to expect

Reason #4: You don’t have a specific goal

Reason #5: You’re scared of making a mistake

Reason #6: You compare yourself to others

Reason #7: You’re protecting your identity

Reason #8: You’re not motivated

Reason #9: You think you lack the resources

Reason #10: You’re set in your ways

Here are 13 Steps to Stop Making Excuses

13 Steps to Stop Making Excuses

#1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

#2. Stop Fearing the Unknown

#3. Stop Blaming Others

#4. Take Responsibility for ALL Your Actions

#5. Take Action Every Day

#6. Set Small, Attainable Goals

#7. Learn from Your Mistakes

#8. Don’t Focus on Your Weaknesses

#9. Change your Attitude

#10. Believe in Yourself

#11. Visualize Your Success

#12. Remember: It’s Okay to Not Be Perfect

#13. Know You Can Change Your “Excuses Habit”

There is much in these two lists that give us a lot to think about as well as some suggestions, challenges, and encouragement to make progress in our making excuses; especially if it is a habit we have fallen into.

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THERE IS A DIFFERENCE

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Often in my reading or discussions with others I become aware of something I had never thought of before. The last several days I’ve been mulling over something I read last week that was totally new to me. It was in a recent book of selected previously published writings by C.S. Lewis entitled How to Be a Christian: Reflections and Essays (published by HarperOne).

Lewis acknowledges that unless he is very careful, “when I think I am asking God to forgive me I am often in reality asking Him to do something quite different. I am asking Him not to forgive me but to excuse me.” He then adds, “But there is all the difference in the world between forgiving and excusing.”

What is the difference? For Lewis the difference concerns circumstances and responsibility.

He also notes that excusing and forgiving is not limited to our relationship with God, but with others as well. We both need to be forgiven and/or excused by others, and others need to be excused and/or forgiven by us. But it is not always a simple matter of either one or the other. Lewis notes that many times, either between us and God, or between people, there may be needed a mixture of both forgiveness and excusing.

What Lewis writes that most convicts me is “the trouble is that what we call ‘asking God’s forgiveness’ very often really consists in asking God to accept our excuses.” He didn’t note the connection, but I was struck that often when we ask to be excused (instead of forgiven) the request comes with excuses. While there can be “extenuating circumstances,” those circumstances rarely completely excuse our sin.

Summarizing what Lewis suggests (in my own words), we have to admit, confess, and/or own what is inexcusable in terms of our sin. Real forgiveness is the result of being honest with ourselves and God and asking Him for it.

The basic premise is the same when it comes to forgiving and being forgiven by others. Forgiving and excusing wrongs and hurts are not the same thing. Lewis declares “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” (Lewis does not raise the issue, but I personally do not believe forgiving someone means we have to put ourselves back into a situation in which they can wrong us again or continue to wrong us.)

Thank God for His love, mercy, and grace shown in forgiving us. Let’s make fewer excuses and take more responsibility for our sin. And let’s do what Jesus told us to do: forgive others in the same way we are forgiven.

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