Tag Archives: The Power of Words

THE POWER OF WORDS

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“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That little saying that we all have heard, and perhaps said, is not true. And we know it’s not true – not because sticks and stones won’t break our bones, they will – but because words can and do hurt. Everyone reading this post has been hurt by words.

Words are powerful, and we all know that. They can not only hurt, they can also heal, lift up, encourage, warm our hearts, ask for and receive forgiveness, and do much, much more.

Earlier this week I read an eBook entitled Ancient Wisdom For Future Success. The ancient wisdom cited comes from the Old Testament book of Proverbs. The book of Proverbs also offers a lot of ancient wisdom with regard to The Power of Words. There are over 100 references in the book to the tongue, mouth, lips, and words. A general foundational verse is Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit” (NIV).

Here is a verse that underscores both the potential for words to be hurtful or helpful: Proverbs 15:4, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (NIV).

Here are five of my favorites that underscore ways words hurt and damage:

10:19, “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut” (NLT).

11:9a, “With their words, the godless destroy their friends” (NLT).

11:12, Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense” (The Message).

25:18, “Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow) NIV.

29:5, “Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet” (NIV).

 

Here are four of my favorites that underscore ways words help and heal:

10:11,”The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain” (NLT).

12:18, “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing” (NLT).

12:25, “Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up” (The Message).

16:24, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (NIV).

 

With those verses in mind, consider these four suggestions for the way we use words.

  1. First, we must learn to listen. It may sound trite, but in thinking about the power of words we need to be reminded that we need to listen. James 1:19 gives us good advice: “My dear brothers and sisters,take note of this: “Everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak” (NIV). Some of us have a problem of assuming what a person is going to say before they say it. Years ago I saw a sign on a person’s desk that has stayed with me. It said “I love you enough to listen.”
  2. Second, we must think before we speak and choose our words carefully. Proverbs 29:20 says it well, “Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them” (NIV).
  3. Third, we need to be honest with our words. Two of seven things God hates are “a lying tongue” and “a false witness who pours out lies.” I don’t have in mind here what some term as being “ruthlessly” honest. That may take us back to the destructive power of words. Ephesians 4:15a tells us “Speak the truth in love.” There is a way to speak the truth, but not in love. We are to speak the truth; but we are to do so in love.
  4. Finally, we need to take seriously Ephesians 4:29. Let me remind you of Paul’s powerful advice: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV) Unwholesome talk may include foul language and dirty jokes, but I think unwholesome talk is that tears others down and that does not benefit those who listen is sarcasm, attacking, caustic, negative, and rude.

I’m pretty sure these verses and comments give us all a lot to think about – it certainly does me. I confess, I’m guilty of violating a lot of what God’s Word tells us about how we should talk. To get the most out of these verses it might be good to go over each of them and give yourself a grade from A to F.

I close with a declaration from Jesus in Matthew 15:18, “the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart” (NIV).

Feel free to leave a comment below and/or share this post on Facebook.

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THAT HURT!

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Has anyone ever said something to you that hurt your feelings? Has anyone ever said something about you to someone else that was relayed to you that hurt? I sure have—many times, but mercifully, only a few I remember. I was reminded of the power of our words (and actions) to hurt others last week as I spoke with one friend who had been deeply hurt by the words of another friend.

The next day in my Bible reading I came across this in Ecclesiastes 8:9 (NIV), “All this I saw, as I applied my mind to everything under the sun. There is a time when a man lords it over others to his own [or to their] hurt.” Intrigued, I checked a few other translations:

New Living Translation: “I have thought deeply about all that goes on here under the sun, where people have the power to hurt each other.”

New Revised Standard Version: “All this I observed, applying my mind to all that is done under the sun while one person exercises authority over another to the other’s hurt.”

Contemporary English Version: “I noticed all this and thought seriously about what goes on in the world. Why does one person have the power to hurt another?”

The Message: “All this I observed as I tried my best to understand all that’s going on in this world. As long as men and women have the power to hurt each other, this is the way it is.”

I am no expert in the Hebrew language, but I think this verse includes not only physical hurt, but also hurting others with our words. Taking a cue from the biblical writer, I too gave serious thought to what my friend had shared with me the previous day. I was hurt because she was hurt and disappointed by what my other friend had said and done to her.

Earlier I said I have been hurt by both what others have said to me and by what others have said about me that got back to me. Equally important, however, if not more important, is the truth that I have said things to people that have hurt them as well as things to others about people that got back to them and hurt them. The purpose of this post is not just to alert and challenge readers about this matter, but also for me to confess my guilt in this area and commit to doing better myself. I am not referring to having fun teasing someone with no intention to hurt–however, we do need to be aware that sometimes our teasing hurts those we tease (especially when we go too far with it).

I think it also needs to be said that there are times when it is appropriate to hurt a friend with our words. Proverbs 27:6 (NIV) informs us, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Wounds hurt, but sometimes our friends need to wound us with their words for our own good. It has never been pleasant, and I certainly don’t like it, but I am grateful for the times in my life when friends have appropriately wounded me with the goal of helping me. Even though it is meant to be helpful, and perhaps even necessary, a real friend will never delight in wounding a friend even when it is needed.

Back to being hurt by the words of someone, how should we respond? I have three suggestions for our consideration:

Try not to be defensive. It’s easier said than done, but try to let it roll off your back. Sometimes it may be helpful to set the record straight, but generally speaking ignoring it is probably best.

Try not to strike back. I’m confident the person who hurts us with words has shortcoming and faults we could attack, but for the most part escalation will not prove to be helpful.

Try not to be overly sensitive. Again, it is easier said than done–and I know because I am often overly sensitive to such things. But in the end, being overly sensitive just compounds our hurt.

To conclude these thoughts, here are two more verses from the book of Proverbs to contemplate:

Proverbs 12:18 (NLT), “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.”

Proverbs 15:4 (NLT), “Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

Lord,

Forgive me for hurting others with my words and help me do better. Empower me to appropriately respond to those who hurt me with their words. Guide me in knowing when and how to wound a friend for his or her own good. May my words encourage and build up others as well as honor and praise you.

Amen

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