Last week while I was praying I had what I’m calling an “epiphany.” There are a variety of ways the word is used, but the definition I’m using is “a moment of sudden or great revelation that usually changes you in some way.”
Since I preached about surrender last weekend, and am preaching again this weekend on the same subject, I’ve been thinking a lot about surrendering to God. Even though I’m preparing sermons to challenge people in church to surrender, what I’m studying is having an impact on me. My “epiphany” last week confirmed that.
After class one day last week I went home and into my office to prepare a test. When I finished the test I moved to my easy chair to sit and pray. I brought several concerns to the Lord telling him what I wanted. I then prayed that God would want what I wanted. It was as I made that request that I had my “epiphany.”
I’m probably not the only person to pray what I prayed last week, but as I thought about what I had asked for I was embarrassed. Who am I to ask God to want what I want? It didn’t take long for me to realize the presumption of my request.
I’m pretty sure I was convicted by the Holy Spirit and acknowledged the inappropriateness of what I had just asked. I told the Lord I wanted to take back what I had asked for and reverse my prayer. Rather than asking Him to want what I want, I asked Him to help me want what He wants.
I’m confident a lot of what I want is what God wants, and a lot of what God wants is what I want. But in keeping with the idea of surrender I want to stay with my reversed prayer rather than my original one last week. Lord, help me want what you want.
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